I am deep into my obedience training. As I understand it, this is usually one of the last hills to climb in the journey to the threshold of enlightenment. Letting go of attachments is pretty easy at this stage but becoming completely obedient to Divine Will is a bigger challenge.
The ego doesn’t want to give up control. It believes in an illusion that it needs control to make sure things happen its way, but this logic is flawed.
Pranananda gave me a dream the other night where he showed me what my life would look like if I became completely obedient to GOD. I was in a vehicle somewhere, racing through a city very quickly. I seemed to know exactly when to turn, hitting every green light; navigating with precognition to a destination that I could not see, and yet I knew it was exactly where I was meant to be.
The mind was completely out of the way and GOD was driving. It was a vision of effortlessness. Nothing interrupted the movement, and there was nothing but synchronicity along the way. I was free from fear, knowing that however GOD instructed me, it was for my own good and the good of all. I trusted in GOD completely.
Having this dream made my realize even more that, as long as I believe I need to be in control, I will block the manifestation of Divine Will. The ego sees Divine Will as something suspicious that might not always work out, but Divine Will is able to account for all of the factors that our egos cannot see.
On the other side of that shift into alignment I am sure it will seem silly looking back to have not wanted to be in complete obedience to Divine Will. So why, if being aligned with Divine Will is so beneficial, is it so difficult? I believe it is because Divine Will give us directives that don’t always fit into the linear thinking of our minds. Our plan is to turn right, but GOD is saying “TURN LEFT!” We ignore these inner signals because we think we no better. Our linear minds become fixated on our goals, blinded to the fact that we are about to run into an obstacle that GOD is trying to help us avoid.
For now, I am busy mapping out all of the ways I avoid living in the present or committing to where my presence is needed the most. Being obedient to Divine Will means many things. It means being totally present to your job, trusting that no matter how you might feel about the work or your coworkers, it is where you are meant to be until GOD opens the doorway for something else.
I remember thinking last year that I couldn’t wait to be done with the job I had at the time so I could move on to helping people with the readings I do. I had not yet relaunched my practice and was working to save money for my family’s move to California. Then, I realized that the people I worked with were the ones I was meant to help. I was meant to do the best I could and be present to everyone around me and not just dream of some future life.
Obedience means having integrity with money, not running away from responsibility and making good on our commitments. It means obeying the maintenance of our lives, our houses, our cars, our offices, our bills, and everything that requires our attention to remain in balance. Obedience means responding to the opportunity to love and be with those who need us.
In my case, it also means getting up between 4 and 5am to meditate for an hour or so. Spirit has been waking me up around that time each morning to meditate, and even though I can feel a little resistance still to getting up that early, I know that it serves me to ignore the resistance and just respond to the prompting of the Masters.
I keep seeing people showing up at work wearing shirts that say: OBEY. It’s a nice reminder. I was even woken up at 4:44am the other morning just to confirm that it really was Spirit that was starting to wake me up that early for meditation as part of my obedience training. The more I discipline myself through this training, the more effortless it becomes to surrender to any form of divine calling.
Whatever you are being asked to do, if it is something your ego resists doing, it is part of your obedience training. GOD is trying to break down your resistance so you can enter the path of grace and stay on it. Wherever your resistance is in life, you will inevitably attract an experience that shows you your resistance and gives you the opportunity to transform it. See these opportunities as a blessing. Don’t be afraid to get dirty (commentary on a recent job GOD picked for me that was very dusty).
I had a lifetime as a slave and was forced to work very hard. This made me resent having to work a manual labor job, and yet GOD picked several such jobs for me to help me transform my resistance. The truth is that being a slave helped me develop tremendous stamina, and the way my employers supported me in this life was a healing for the part of me that had felt dishonored as a slave. Now I see it all as a blessing in disguise. Doing physical work helps me stay grounded.
Unenlightened people will run from their resistance and yet encounter road blocks at every turn, forcing them to eventually turn around and face their fears. People who are on the path of enlightenment will find strength in the opportunity to transform their fears through each divine directive. This is how I have found the greatest healing in life.
I am quite certain that if I keep following the promptings of Spirit without resistance, and always defer to the Masters for guidance about what is mine to do, I will get closer and closer to receiving a dispensation of love and light that will help to boost me across the threshold of enlightenment.
It is getting easier and easier to see my way out of the maze, knowing exactly where and when to turn. Being surrendered to Divine Will is like having perfect timing all the time.
I only know that I cannot give up. I must become more and more accountable and responsible for the example I set in each moment, and I believe that if I can fully enter the path of grace, it will make it even easier for others to do the same. I am committed, and I believe that it is only a matter of time before the ego takes its dying breath.
I am focusing more and more each day on conscious breathing, and the progress is amazing. I only want to breathe with GOD now. Just taking in oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide is not enough. I will not be satisfied until I have re-trained my body and consciousness to breathe only in GOD. This is why I must become obedient. I know it would be far better for GOD to instruct my every breath than to allow the mind and body to be on automatic pilot. There is more love in GOD’s breath than in the unconscious breathing of being in survival mode.
More GOD please! I am not asleep any more!
Categories: My Journal