“Oh no! He’s dwelling on his regrets again.”
How many times must my angelic guides have said that about me? For them, it is like when our computers get hung up and all you see is the little spinning wheel or the hourglass turning over. We are unreachable to our guides when we dwell on our regrets because our brainwaves do not match with the focus of loving acceptance they hold with us. We are tuned to a different frequency, and they must wait until we become more present and receptive.
It is for this reason that the angelic realms are reaching out through this article to help lighten the burden of regrets. We are entering a time of increasing contact with the angelic realms and this can be enhanced when our channels are more psychologically clear. Let us assume, for the sake of this process, that all regrets can be transformed into self-love. Every person that has ever attained enlightenment has transformed regrets into self-love, and so can we. Know then, that a vast association of enlightened masters is also with you on this journey, offering you grace.
Dwelling on regrets is a common pattern that many people get stuck in. We can become self-absorbed with wanting to change the parts of ourselves that we deem unlovable. The effect of this self-rejection is very noticeable. We feel a lack of love. We can feel unworthy of love and downright flawed. We can even worry that we have done irreparable damage to our spiritual and creative potential because of the mistakes of our past. Trust me, I’ve been there. This is an awful feeling to live with, but fortunately, it is not the truth of who we are.
“But how do you know that for sure?”
Because I was meant to know this from direct experience which, by the way, is why any of us chose such tests of self-love. We wanted to show the world how to turn lemons into lemonade. We wanted to know what it was like to feel flawed and hopelessly stuck, and then reach that joyous place where we are bouncing through life with a lightness of being saying “Oh, are those lemons you have there. Let me show you what you can do with those.”
That is what the Masters recently did with me. I was obsessing about my imperfections. The ego is horrible at self-love. It attempts to cope with insecurity by separating itself from what it judges and dislikes. When that thing that the ego doesn’t like is a part of you, this creates fragmentation in your consciousness. Sometimes the ego will even hide these fragments in some dark corner of the self, trying to cover up and appear less flawed, but to our angelic guides our shame is like a cloak we are wearing. The only real flaw in this condition is the ego’s thinking that it can hide from God or that it’s necessary.
“So are you saying that I am not really flawed?”
What I am saying is that “a flaw is not a law”. Remember that. The spiritual laws of the universe are constant. God’s unconditional love for you cannot be changed. It persists no matter what you have done and no matter what you do. The ego will punish itself by denying this love, as if the law of existence is that you have to be perfect to be loveable. Remember that when you find yourself dwelling on your mistakes – wait a second . . . scratch that. When you find yourself dwelling on decisions that you regret, remember that: unlike the law of God’s love for you, a flaw need not define your existence.
In fact, we should really be more careful about using words like “flaw” or “mistake” to describe our experience. Labeling certain parts of us as flawed, or calling our decisions mistakes, is a way of marking them for shame and denial. Such memories get designated for the “not worthy of love” area of our self, which reinforces the fragmentation of our consciousness. So let’s just say that “there are no mistakes”, only decisions that we may regret for a time. Eventually this feeling of regret will be eclipsed by love and wisdom. And as for flaws and imperfections, eventually you will begin to see, if you haven’t already, that there is a perfection to our imperfections that is part of our path to enlightenment.
God does not make mistakes. You are not a mistake. What we do not realize most of the time is that there is a much higher degree of planning involved in our lives. We judge ourselves harshly for some of the choices we made, and yet it was known that we would make such choices. That’s right. God and our own souls already knew what choices we would potentially make in each situation and it was all loveable and acceptable before it ever happened. The situations were karmic. In other words, they were part of a plan that our souls agreed to.
“So why would my soul choose situations for this life knowing that I would make decisions I regret?”
Ah, now that is a tricky one to explain; but there is an explanation. First of all, there is always the possibility that you will turn a challenging situation into a quantum leap in consciousness, right then and there, but usually the quantum leap comes later, after a great deal of hindsight. The possibility of a quantum leap in each situation is what keeps bringing us back to the same memories and experiences for resolution. They were needed for some piece of growth that resolves the past and prepares us for greatness.
What happens is that when we give in to temptation or make a decision that feels misaligned with our higher potential we create a sort of map of our fears, attachments, and insecurities that we can reflect on. Everything comes to the surface: guilt, shame, resistance, anger, denial, and the unresolved memories of our childhood and our past lives. Learning to read the map of our unresolved feelings can lead us to freedom because we can discover where we left parts of ourselves behind that need to be reclaimed with unconditional love and self-acceptance.
The object is always to become more whole through acceptance, self-love, and compassion for all who have shared in a similar struggle. Our compassion for others who have experienced the same is helping to mend the collective heart, making the world itself more whole. That is why our souls were not afraid to be placed in a position where we can stumble and form regrets. Our experiences can personalize a form of self-judgment, and yet each form of self-judgment is also collective in nature. If you are here on this planet you are resonating with collective patterns in your emotional/mental bodies. You are not alone in your story. The key is to take a step back from the way we feel such inner duality personally and have compassion for all who feel stuck in the same pattern. When we stop taking these patterns of duality personally, we can more easily resonate with collective patterns of joy and self-love that are growing in the world.
The challenge is that we grow impatient with ourselves and with the process of becoming radiant joy in the physical. There is a time commitment involved and the ego is the part of us that reserves the right to throw in the towel when it thinks that the odds are unfair. I assure you, the odds of success are in your favor. The only obstacles to the fulfillment of your destiny are those that exist in your mind. The obstacles that you think are out there in the world are not actually there. They are an illusion; and none of the decisions we have made are obstacles to our growth because we were destined to make them.
Another key is the understanding that our souls place us in positions that allow us to feel the direct impact that our lives had on others. If we did something disempowering to someone, we might choose a similar experience to develop more compassion and sensitivity. Either way, the unresolved feelings that can be triggered by our life decisions are nothing to regret. We were put in situations that caused us to make choices that could trigger these unresolved feelings to come to the surface for healing and completion. There is no reason to regret any of it. As healers, we are navigating the dualities of this matrix with a mission to find the balance of love that can bring everything back into wholeness.
Regret was meant to be nothing more than an awareness of missed potentials that prepares us for new opportunities. This awareness was meant to teach us something about our potential, not to trap us in the past. When mixed with self-judgment and doubt, regrets can become a barrier to the infinite love that creates us, which is present to help guide us in every moment. Remember the spinning wheel that says: “I’m too busy processing to be with you”? Well, that spinning wheel is more like a firewall that is keeping out the flame of God’s love.
So when you find yourself dwelling on your regrets, re-greet these memories as something you are thankful for. Gratitude is one of the quickest and most affective ways to transform shame and regret. It might seem counter-intuitive to be grateful for something that scarred you but gratitude is the very thing that can bridge the lost fragments of your soul back into wholeness. Gratitude sends a signal that you are ready for the lesson to be revealed. It is like saying, “thanks for the lesson” before you even know what it is about. In this way, you set yourself up to learn and get the most out of each experience. In this way, you will have many epiphanies.
I use to look at many of my life’s decisions as something that stained me, but now I feel like the circumstances of my life were like a car wash that was set up to cleanse me as I was passing through. There were much older forms of regret and self-judgment from other lives that needed to be dealt with, and having some similar experiences helped me to find a compassionate resolution that I could not see before. Often, the pain of separation that is triggered in this life contains echoes of other lives. Parts of us can feel stuck in pain memories when we fear or doubt that we have no opportunity to change.
I am here to tell you that God will always give you more opportunities to heal, grow, transform, evolve, excel, and fulfill your dreams. The opportunities never run out, and if you miss one, it will only help make you sharper in your ability to recognize the next one. Do not regret the past you came from. You are here. That is a great accomplishment. And whatever you are struggling with, know that the end result will be peace. So here are a few good reasons why you should not be so hard on yourself.
1) Our souls knew what decisions we would potentially make in each situation and it was all loveable and acceptable as part of a plan of spiritual growth.
2) We wanted to lighten the burden of others by bringing compassion to similar experiences.
3) We needed the opportunity to resolve older forms of regret and self-judgment through developing compassion for ourselves.
4) There is a hidden perfection to our imperfections that is challenging us into self-mastery, and whether you know it or not, you will be happy with the end result of this plan.
Now let the grace of the Ascended Masters be with you, pouring like healing oil over the imperfections you dwell upon. Allow yourself to be anointed with the remembrance of self-love. Allow yourself to receive the loving acceptance of your angelic guides and say to them: “Please take from me any thought or memory pattern that I dwell upon that no longer serves me.” Give it all to God and make a commitment not to dwell on your regrets. There are far better uses for your consciousness in the world, and the world needs you to be present.
Now if you really want to go the extra mile to lighten the burden of regrets, practice expressing to people: “I accept you exactly as you are.” The more you can feel that and mean it, the more you will receive it back from the universe. Think of how many people must be dwelling on their imperfections that need to receive that exact message from the universe. Think of the gift you could give them by making them feel acceptable. When you share such gifts, I promise you, the angels will be there, sharing it with you, resonating God’s truth of unconditional love through your acceptance. That kind of gift can literally prevent suicides. Accept everyone as they are and you will feel accepted as you are, because we are all connected. It is as simple as that.